Concerned

I'm concerned...I will eventually finish my posts on the things I listed below, but today I just want to say that I'm concerned. You can ignore the signs, but it doesn't mean that they aren't there. If you have a teenager ~ investigate. Too many kids are talking about spending their weekends drunk, high, or having sex. How do I know this? I sit at my desk and correct assignments, look preoccupied, and then listen while I work. Sometimes I interrupt and ask questions, sometimes we have discussions, sometimes I report what I hear to administration, counselors, or the school officer. Sometimes I discuss things with parents...who don't believe me. I'm concerned.

What are your concerns? What are your ideas of things that we (parents, teachers, community, etc.) can do to provide other outlets for our youth? I'm always wondering when I'm awake late at night worrying about my students...

The Lying, Cheating Thief

There are several things that I want you to know about teens today. The most important is that they are not inherently bad. I've been surprised by a few in the past few weeks who have been willing to share with me WHY they are not realizing their potential. Guess what? They don't think that anyone expects them to.

Do you feel that way?

I know I don't.

But, are we letting them know? Think about that for a minute and then read on...

As promised in my last post, I'm going to tell you what has me concerned. The first concern I listed was lying, cheating, and stealing. This is how I see it:

Lying: Kids lie to avoid punishment, to avoid confrontation, or to cover. It's that simple. How can we make them realize that lying is NOT helping any situation?

I want you to think about your reaction when your child ignores you, disobeys, fails to follow through, or is just too lazy to listen. This reaction could be adding to the knee-jerk lying. So many kids lie out of habit, even if the truth is a better option. This is NOT to say it is your fault, but kids are more likely to be honest with you if they feel that there will not be an immediate outburst, punishment, confrontation, or realization of disappointment. Bottom line, they won't need to cover if you are there to listen with concern...NOT friendship. There is a difference. They want rules and boundaries, but they also want to know that there is love and concern.

Cheating: Chances are your child is cheating somewhere in his or her life...right now. Copying homework, texting answers for a test to a classmate, searching the Internet for a research paper they can pass of as original...it does not occur to them that this is cheating. The sad part is that when a teacher catches a student plagiarizing, copying, or something of the like, the parents back their child. This signals a green light for more cheating. Is it any wonder that crimes like embezzlement and fraud are becoming more commonplace. It is our job to define cheating and to teach our kids that this is not acceptable behavior.

Stealing: This can apply to situations at school, but I'm more concerned with shoplifting. This is becoming a new hobby for kids. It isn't just poor kids who want to fit in who are doing it. Frankly, the kids who want for nothing are seeking this as a thrill and a game. The obvious suggestion is to be alert and aware of your child's possessions and whereabouts. I'm shocked at how many parents are oblivious as to where their children are and where a new pair of $130 jeans may have come from.

Recently, a few of my students have "opened the vault" to reveal that behavior such as this is often a way to seek attention. Because the adult world is rushed and focused on earning the almighty dollar, kids are falling through the cracks. They may be testing us to see if we follow through, if we care enough to confront them, and if we will enforce curfews and house rules.

If you suspect your child of the behavior described above, don't flip out on them and put them under house arrest! Be calm, try to get them to tell you what is going on in their life, investigate, just don't ignore it.

Bottom line: Kids need to know that if they choose to tell you the truth, even if it is horrible, you will be there for them. They need clear definitions of cheating and stealing. That probably sounds silly, but this generation is all about what is actually articulated and defined. Don't be afraid to teach a simple lesson if it will communicate expectation and moral value.

The Word in the Halls

I returned to my classroom a couple of weeks ago and was pleasantly surprised to find that I was happy to be there. Not that teachers aren't happy to be teaching, but this summer flew by and left me with a long list of things I didn't get done. Nevertheless, I've found that I enjoy teenagers and am, in fact, NOT crazy (as people often tell me) for wanting to spend my days with them.

Despite the fact that I genuinely like my students, I am not pleased with some of the things that they choose to do. As I walk the halls between classes or tune into conversations that occur as my students work in class, I'm finding out that kids are masters of manipulation and clever as they hide things from the adults in their lives. There is a short list of things that worry me right now. These include:

1) Dishonesty: Cheating, Lying, and Stealing
2) Smoking: Cigarettes & Illegal Substances
3) Drinking: On the Weekend AND During the Lunch Hour
4) Bullying: Mean Girl Syndrome and Gossip
5) Cell Phone Obsessions: Texting & Picture Messages

As professional educators, we are able to become involved or discipline if there is evidence or an actual situation presents itself. Although, for the most part, hearing murmurings of things that happened over the summer or of rumored situations that may occur does not always warrant action. Teachers alert the counselors, the resource officer, or administration to look further into such situations so that a careful watch can be kept. However, the sad fact is that many times parents refuse to consider the possibility that their children could be involved in such things.

I will do a series of five individual posts so that I can spend time on each issue individually. These things are having a negative effect on the teen culture everywhere. It may surprise you, but even kids that you wouldn't expect to be involved in one or more of these things...
are involved. I admit to being shocked and disappointed, but the only way that I can truly be of help to my students is to be willing to listen, reserve judgment, and to somehow alert parents as to what to look for.

I must state that I will NEVER refer to specific students in my posts and am simply speaking in generalalities. When I become aware of issues facing teens at my high school, I research the topic on a national level and look at statistics to provide a clearer picture. I say this to make certain that readers know that I am never targeting my students as individuals, but instead am targeting problems or issues that they are facing.

Check back soon...

They're Coming!

I'm back in the classroom! This week is going to be CrAzY as the school year blasts off. There are supplies to buy, desks to clean, and items to copy. Why? Because THEY are coming.

On Wednesday I will follow the herd down the narrow hallways, watch them race to beat the tardy bell, and do my best to seem as mean as possible until at least Thanksgiving.

Once my classroom is full of students, I will be reminded of the things that you need to know ~
and I will not be afraid to tell you.

Stay tuned...

Childhood Obesity in America

In my coursework, I've had to research quite a bit about childhood obesity. In America, the scales are tipping...and NOT in our favor.

Today I had the opportunity to get a brief overview from a doctor, who listed as references numerous medical journals and specialists, about how parents can help turn things around.
I'm NOT and expert, but this is what I learned:

1. Breakfast EVERY day that includes protein. We hear this is key, but kids are (again) watching us. Don't skip it! The doc listed oatmeal, protein fortified cereals or shakes, and eggs as good sources.

2. Lunch should be the BIGGEST meal of the day. This can be difficult during the school year because kids are eating at school. However, the schools prepare and serve pretty well-balanced, hearty meals. The bad thing is that if your child is packing some extra pounds, school lunch may not assist in shedding any. I pack a lunch four days and allow my kids to choose one day that they will each school lunch. For parents of teens who would rather die than be caught in the lunchroom, your problem is more complex. Fast food is NOT doing your child any favors. I watch the majority of my high school students race for the parking lot to drive to town for pizza and/or fries. Educate them about this choice.

3. Limit fast food! Drive through only ONCE per week. I'm guilty too! We don't eat a lot of "fast food," but we hit restaurants WAY more than we should. I've been educating myself about the caloric value of the food at our favorite haunts...WHOA!!! The most popular menu items at most restaurants have between 800 and 1400 calories; this includes the Kid's Menu.

4. Two hours of TV/Video/Computer per day and at least one hour of play or exercise. Kids should be getting 20 minutes of vigorous exercise a day.

5. The evening meal should be light. This is SO abnormal to our way of thinking, but it's true.

6. Snacks: One sugary drink per day (chocolate milk, soda pop ~ even diet, juice, etc.) Limit candy and encourage fruit. Jerky and string cheese are also good choices. Try to encourage eating every three hours; this includes meals.

7. No eating after 6 p.m. Did you know that nearly everything we eat after 6 p.m. transfers to fat? For most Americans, the time of day most graze or snack is between 6 and 10 p.m.

8. WATER!!! Buy your child a water bottle and send it to school. Kids should be drinking a gallon a day! Soda, milk, juice, etc. doesn't count.

9. Educate yourself about energy drinks. These are dangerously unhealthy and loaded with calories, carbs, sugar, and CAFFEINE.

10. Find out your child's height and have it graphed. Then do the same with their weight. If they are not matching up, talk to your doctor about it.

Too much focus on weight can lead to eating disorders or other self-esteem related issues. However, if you focus on health, you may help your child avoid a long life of health related issues.

Picture Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/joe_13/188297063/

Wow! Two more readers!

Sarah:
I have not read the book Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations. So, I googled it. Have you been to the website? http://www.therebelution.com/dohardthings/index.htm

I have to admit that when I read about the authors, I was a little skeptical. As a public school teacher, I'm a little wary of home schooling. This is not to say that it cannot be done well, it can; however, a public school teacher just tends to cringe when they hear the words "home school". Research shows that a large percentage of home schooled individuals lack certain social skills. However, this is a generalization. I will be the first to admit that the norm does not always prove to be advantageous for each individual. Therefore, home schooling is probably appropriate for certain individuals. (I know...off topic.)

Research tells me that these two young men were home schooled in a highly structured environment by parents who do home schooling well. I read the excerpt from the book on this site and am very impressed. I plan to buy it and read it right away. I am so glad that you gave me the heads up!

Have Kate check out the site. I bet she'll love it. Olivia is really into those types of tapes and books as well. I took her to the Rachel's Challenge presentation, and she has really implemented it into her life. If you haven't heard of it, go here: http://www.rachelschallenge.org/

Audrey:

Kids are really busy...and they keep us so busy running them all over to be busy! So, while I'd like to say dump it all, it's not in their best interest. There are a few reasons why.

The first has to do with the obesity rate in children in the United States. I'm sure you are aware that it is staggering and only getting worse. I know that your children are far from chubby, but inactivity as a child leads to inactivity as an adult. Statistics prove that children who learn skills that carry into adulthood are less likely to be overweight AND less likely to suffer from poor self-esteem.

However, with this said, kids who are kept too busy are at risk for eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder, and panic attacks.

Where is the balance?

I did allow Abby to quit dance in January for a variety of reasons. The main one being that she really didn't love it right then. However, I told her that she needed to choose something else to replace it. She chose gymnastics and LOVED it. Gym and pre-school (and time with her Aunt/daycare) kept her pretty busy and my pocket book pretty empty. So, until she is in first grade, we are sticking to one thing.

Olivia is taking violin (which we had her earn to try to encourage prolonged interest). There is also soccer, swimming, and acting. When Olivia made the high school play the past two years, I suspended all other activities because it was a huge commitment. She probably could have handled it, but I couldn't:).

I don't think there is a magic number, but I think two (lessons/talents/activities) is appropriate for the average child under twelve. I say this because I think that so many of us want to give our kids EVERYTHING and want them to be the best at EVERYTHING! This can just wear everybody out. After the age of twelve, it is typical that kids become involved in school activities in addition to whatever they've been working on as a child. Overload is never good.

I would sit down and see if there is at least one thing that your child is willing to do. I would not drop everything, because statistically it proves detrimental, but also kids forget that THEY wanted out and tend to blame their parents for the failures of childhood. I'd also point out the things he/she excels at, the things that have longevity, and the things that will someday result in scholarships. One activity may be his/her max right now.

As far as time to be a kid, I firmly believe that summer is for playing. More and more lessons are being offered and encouraged year round. I think that summer is the perfect time for down time. However, I may think that because I'm hoping for some myself!

Later, I will touch on this again. This is such an interesting topic to me! I have so many examples of how under or over expecting/preparing has affected kids. Next post maybe...but now I'm going to bed!

Back 2 School!

I can't believe it's nearly time to head back to the classroom! I've been in grad school working on my Master's degree in counseling, so I headed back awhile ago. My coursework has me thinking about my students...and their parents. If there is anything specific that you'd like to see me research and write about, please ask. At this point there may be only two people reading this blog, but if you are one of the two and have a question...don't be shy! :)

Until then, happy shopping! I LOVE new school supplies!